Saturday, 9 May 2009


It began three weeks ago as a laceration on my achillies heel, and developed slowly into warranting 5 days in casualty, with a skin infection taking over most of my calf and some of my shin, drip in my arm, and crutches to walk. I thought celulitis was only for ghetto booty women to worry about but the infection i have apparently mimics the name of somethng else, that many more of us have heard of.
Limited to day time crap on tele and chocolate treats has depressed my system. I am aware of this after becoming contemplative of the state of 'flow' (cheers tim), that is, the zen like state of action without premeditation synonimous with the great pianists, who believe to have had out of body experiences as they seemingly let their fingers take over from their mind, and felt ecstacy, oneness, and so forth.
However, with any sort of play out of the equation I'm now humble couch potato, sofa surfer for the time being. Flowing is just a way to explain how i look in my pyjamas or a good description of the rate of junk food entering my system. Looking at the tv has blanched my imagination, so dreaming is relegated along with washing and shaving.
But something interesting is hapening today, the first day walking unaided for a long period. As i come out of my depressed, ugly sloth state, something is clearly changing. Im not saying im fit, but two days ago i was ready for the mourge. On doctors advice im being very cautious of over exersion, and yet my body repells my demand to stay in the slow lane. It is almost like a potential energy charged up inside me, searching for an environment to be dynamic and experience flow. A familiar physical momentum has reappeared, and it wasnt until i became ill and stopped completely, that i realised i am actually harnessing some sort of momentum that is not necesarily bound for great things but can alter how things may turn out, i believe.

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